So my life has been at a really low point lately. So many negative things have happened to me and my family and just my life in general. I don't wanna say everything because a lot are really personal. Anyways, it's come to the point where I don't want to go to school or even want to go to sleep because that means I'd have to wake up and face my fears. I'm crying at night or in the morning because I dread repeating the same torturing routine. I'm scared to embarrass myself, feel uncomfortable, feel unwanted, have fear, and more. I just hate that my mind can make me feel so down when I shouldn't. I wish I can convey my emotions without feeling ashamed and like I should hide. I sometimes lay on my bed while covering my mouth and cry to muffle the sounds and tears of pain and stress, so my family won't hear. They already have too much to worry about and I don't wanna add to their stress. When will of this stop? When wiIl I not be afraid? When will I see that I shouldn't be ashamed of what I'm feeling? When will I feel comfortable in the world again? I want to live, but how much is my life worth living? I want to be happy, but what is there to be happy about? And most of all I want to be carefree, but how can this happen? When can I live my life like a normal teenager?
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that's all for today. thanks for reading for those of you that are. ciao bella xoxo M
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that's all for today. thanks for reading for those of you that are. ciao bella xoxo M